7 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence

7 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence Have you ever wanted to achieve something so bad but were not sure whether you could, despite knowing you had the skills or knowledge required?Have you ever wanted to grab an opportunity but were afraid that it was challenging and you could end up embarrassed if you failed?These are some typical characteristics of low self-confidence.Low self-confidence is a big hindrance to your life’s progress as it makes it extremely difficult for you to take risksâ€"even the small ones. Without taking risks, you can never move forward.Furthermore, any work which has fewer risks generally involves more physical effort but less pay.For example, a laborer working as a loader has a job which is less risky and his mistakes can easily be corrected by those above him. His pay is also one of the lowest in the organization despite his use of a lot of physical strength.A CEO on the other hand gets paid a lot and has a highly risky job. If he makes a bad decision and it’s implemented, huge losses will b e incurred, jobs lost and many families affected, including his.Jobs like those of the CEO or department heads do not need degrees only. For better performance in the day-to-day work, you need self-confidence too.This article will teach you what self-confidence is, what lowers it, then guide you through the steps of building it.There are examples which show you how you can implement what is discussed. You will end up standing out among your peers with virtually no situation being able to stop you.WHAT IS SELF-CONFIDENCE?Self-Confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in ones abilities, qualities, and judgment. Being self-confident does not mean you are perfect in any way or have the right combination of abilities and skills to achieve your goals. It is simply about knowing what you can do by yourself, what you need help with and what you cannot do.With self-confidence, you will set a goal, start working on it and eventually achieve it.When challenges come up, you will be bold enoug h to either tackle them or seek help without feeling embarrassed about it.When you carefully look at the definition of self-confidence given above, you will notice the word ‘trust’. This means that you have an assurance in yourself.When you trust your abilities, you are not afraid of putting them to work. On the contrary, you seek opportunities to use them. It will be your joy to utilize your abilities for the satisfaction you get when you attain your goals.The absence of this assurance causes fear. You become afraid that things may not go as well as you may want. If for example you want to start a business and are not sure about your abilities, you’ll be afraid of making losses, not being able to sustain yourself and joining the statistics of many startups failing within a year.Low self-confidence makes you afraid of pursuing your dreams. You have a dream and picture in your mind how you will be successful with its achievement. You visualize how you will make it happen but wh en the time comes for the actual work, you simply shy away from it.At times in an effort to encourage yourself, you postpone the dream to first build a certain required skill.Sadly though, you rarely get to finish building this ‘required skill.’ Several years later, you realize in retrospect that you could be in a better situation had you worked on that dream.What you need for success is self-confidence, not perfect planning.Since we are looking at ways of building self-confidence, it will be good to quickly see what you should avoid so that you don’t cancel what you achieve.WHAT LOWERS SELF-CONFIDENCE?There are four main things which when you do them, your levels of self-confidence reduce rapidly. It is therefore important that you steer clear of any of the below things:Negative thinkingThis is the surest way of undoing any progress you make.Thoughts like how you have never been able to progress past a specific level of education or business growth, should not be allowed to r un in your mind.For example, instead of thinking how you have been stuck in one level for a very long time, think of what kind of help you need so as to improve.If your mind can’t come up with any ideas, get some time and talk about it with someone who has had success in that area. Some questions you may ask are:How long did it take you to grow past this level?How much resources and of which kind did you use?What steps did you take to grow?What was the process of growth like?The answers you get will help you realize that although you easily see other people’s success, you are never aware of the challenges they have faced. This contributes to why you think others are just succeeding and not failing.Your mind is very powerful and it takes the cue from you on what to focus on.When you direct it to focus on negative things, it does exactly that and delivers accordingly. The short video below explains this quite well. Overly-critical peopleThese are the kind of people who simply neve r see much good in you. They are always pointing out to you and others in your presence, the mistakes you have made.Their intentions are never to help but belittle or embarrass you.They may even go to the extent of stating that you will never amount to anything.Unfortunately, most of such people are influential in one way or another e.g. bully at school, unkind supervisor, harsh boss etc.Since most of such comments are made in public, they may end up hurting you a lot as a result of the embarrassment you experience. Such people seek to build their profiles by intimidating others and so should be avoided.Excessive focus on failures and weaknessesEveryone fails at something and it happens more often than you may know.This includes the most successful and admirable people you know. From being quarreled by the boss, getting stressed up by the kids to going through heart breaks, weaknesses manifest and failures happen.What will enable you continue in your success path is having the right mindset towards failures and weaknesses. Failures help you learn important lessons in life while weaknesses keep you humble and open to receiving assistance.While it’s important to know your weaknesses, focusing on them makes you see nothing but those weaknesses. This gives birth to a situation where you only know and remember your weaknesses and not your strengths. To stop or avoid this habit, keep in mind some wins you have had and the strengths which you exhibited as a result.When a failure happens, take a look at the situation and understand why you did not win. Do this only once to learn and don’t dwell on it much. From there, remind yourself of your favorite wins and strengths and get the courage and strength to proceed. This is how you will be able to rise again no matter how many times you fall.Self-neglectThis is disregarding or ignoring your personal needs or wants. Apart from the basic needs of every human, you should also make yourself look and feel good. Buy nice c lothes for yourself, properly groom yourself, make time for resting and enjoy your hobbies. Not doing these things means you do not love yourself and that is a sign that you don’t value yourself.Considering that the people around you will be expecting you to do things for them, you will wear yourself out benefiting them while having nothing to show for the energy used. Also, very few people will be keen enough to notice when you are getting over-stretched and offer help.People expect you to take care of yourself and so you should not be too available for them, otherwise you will get exploited. You can manage this situation by allocating time for yourself and sticking to it. This acts like a boundary and people will respect it.7 ACTIONS YOU CAN PERFORM EVERY DAY TO BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE“Youll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” John C. Maxwell.With the above background on self-confiden ce, let’s now look at how you can build it up and be on your way to a more successful and happier life.There are 7 things which if you remember and do on a daily basis, you will see your self-confidence levels soar.Moreover, continuing with them will form a good habit which will translate to a lifestyle of high self-confidence.1. Be YourselfSelf-confidence can only be built from the point of knowing who you are.When you know yourself, you cannot believe any lie said about you. For example, if you know you are wise, it is easy to dismiss the person who calls you a fool. You may not even need to respond to him.Contrastingly, when you lack this knowledge, you become susceptible to lies. There are four things which you need to do in order to know yourself. These are:Know your personalityAlso referred to as temperament, this describes your inclinations and tendencies. It is important to know these so you can recognize how past mistakes happened. The best way to do this is by taking tim e alone and doing a self-analysis.There is a popular personality test based on the theories of Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Myers which does a good job in identifying personality types.After answering the questions in the test, you will know your personality type, suitable career choices and some famous people who are of the same type as you. You can find the test here.Know your strengthsThese are the things you easily excel in. They may vary from academic to social. Take note of them and look at the joy you get when manifesting them.Some questions you may ask yourself so as to identify your strengths are:What was my favorite subject in school and what did I love about it?Which tasks do I love doing and can spend a lot of time in?Which sporting activity do I love most and why?What do I do differently from others?What have I been complimented on by others?What have I excelled in the past?Know your weaknessesWeaknesses do not mean you cannot achieve something because you have them.Ever yone, including your mentor, has weaknesses.What you need to do is learn how to spot situations which make you vulnerable to your weaknesses then either avoid or seek help about them.A careful look at your weaknesses will show you that some of them can be improved on.Some questions to help you discover your weaknesses are:What do I struggle most with?What would I rather not do because I least enjoy it?What have I been criticized for most often?What activities do I always seek assistance for?Affirm yourselfSelf-confidence, just like everything else, grows when in a conducive environment. Your strengths are indicators of the truth that you have the most important raw materials needed to achieve your own goals.Remind yourself of this truth with some sense of pride.Write your strengths somewhere you will always see them e.g. the first page of your diary or save them in your phone.Remember that your strengths are the evidence you can make your dreams come true. The only other thing you n eed is the desire to succeed, which you already haveâ€"otherwise you would not be reading this article.2. Have a Winning AttitudeThis is the belief that you are going to win in spite of any existing challenges. If the odds are against you, then you come up with a way of rising above them.Now that you know your strengths and you are focusing on them, nothing can stop you. You will develop a winning attitude by doing the below:Believe that you can achieve your goalsYou are the one to set your goals.If you ask someone to help you set goals for yourself, make sure you are comfortable with them, even though they should have a challenging aspect to them. They should not be too big as to intimidate you, especially as you start out in building your self-confidence.They should be within what your strengths can achieve as this is the reason you believe you can achieve them.Break your goals into smaller piecesRegardless of the size of your goals, it is best to break them down. This makes them more manageable and small enough to be accomplished easily. When the task is easy to accomplish, you get excited at the thought of finishing it and you’re motivated to work on it.When breaking down your goals, ensure they are distinct pieces such that you can work on them individually. Remember to put them in an order which will show your progress as you tackle them piece by piece. For example, if you are good at baking and want to commercialize this talent within 6 months, the smaller pieces of the goal can be:Research on the products already in the market (types available, strength of the brands, consumption trends, customer preferences etc)Research on requirements (machinery, licensing, number of staff, their skills etc)Find the best location for the bakery (security, proximity to customers etc)Hire the necessary staffAcquire the bakery premises and machineryStart productionThe idea is to make the processes small enough to be doable within short periods of time. This maintains the motivation that comes with seeing that the tasks are small thus easy to work on.Plan how to achieve your goalsAs small as the pieces are, planning is still key. The best way is to plan ahead i.e. the previous night or first thing in the morning before embarking on the activities of the day. Estimate time requirements for each piece of the task and allocate accordingly.Swing into actionWith the plan in place, it’s now time for action. Set your mind on the first step of the task with a clear vision of the finish line. As soon as you finish it, congratulate yourself and get ready to tackle the next step. A common threat is to dilly-dally around the first step.Resist this temptation by just starting to act as per your plan. Do not start thinking it over again. Starting a new project always has uncertainties and you may feel not adequately prepared. This is the most common challenge whenever you want to make changes to your life.Take the first step and you will see yourself making progress.Celebrate your victoriesWhenever you manage to complete a task, appreciate your efforts and recognize that this proves you can do more.This achievement brings excitement from within, giving you the motivation to tackle the next task. Part of this celebration can be rewarding yourself. You can do this in different ways depending on what you love e.g. cooking your favorite meal, watching a movie, visiting a friend etc.  â€œNothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.” Thomas Carlyle3. Dont Compare Yourself to AnyoneWhile you can get inspiration from others, do not compare yourself to them. This is why you have a specific combination of strengths and weaknesses. To avoid comparing yourself to others, take note of the below:No two people are the sameStrengths and weaknesses are determined by both genes and environment.These differences are so prominent that even twins end up with major differences as they grow up. Things like preferences, individual fe ars, sibling rivalry etc contribute in forming strengths and weaknesses.We are different for a reasonYou cannot achieve success entirely on your own.Once you are on your journey to success, you will realize that though doing what you do best, greater success demands that you team up with others who have strengths which can cover for your weaknesses. This will help you accomplish more. This is how teams tend to enjoy greater success rates. For this reason, people have to be different.The below video shows how one person easily gets tired when doing everything alone but as soon as a team is set up, things flow better. No two environments are the sameHaving purposed to succeed, realize that the environment someone else is currently in is not necessarily the same as yours.That means that there may be something else working in his favor which you are not aware of.Therefore do not seek to be like him but understand your environment then maximize what you have.Always believe fully in your abilities and those of your team members.4. Associate with People Who Build You UpYou are building your self-confidence and so cannot afford to hang around people who continually focus on your weaknesses.Whether in an organization or at a social level with a friend, stay away from such people. As you look for new associations, the below two things will help you spot and avoid wrong company.Domineering peopleThese are people who use force to control you. They simply want you to do what they want done with no consideration of your feelings, workload or any other engagements. If you are in such a situation, you should change things quickly. If in an organization and you cannot face the person doing this, try engaging the HR’s office.Manipulative peopleThese manipulative people also want to control you but through different means. They seek to influence you through underhanded tactics like abuse and deception. A common characteristic to look out for is the use of blame shifting.Apart from this, if you feel uncomfortable with any aspect of an association, take a step back and analyze what has been happening. Always be ready to take suitable action for your own good.Do not fall victim to the thought that you can help such people change their attitudes because that is usually one of the effects of the manipulation on an unsuspecting victim. If you find yourself thinking along such lines, it is time to cut off links. This is a sign you are already a victim, although you may not have known it yet.5. Exercise Your BodyPhysical exercise is helpful not only for your muscles but also for your brain. Below are three ways in which physical exercises help you build self-confidence.Improved brain responseStudies have shown that exercises, especially aerobics, improve memory and learning abilities.This is very important because your brain is at the center of everything to do with self-confidence. It is in your brain that you debate the lies and truths about who you are, thus affecting your self-confidence levels depending on how that debate goes.Better looksThe most outwardly-visible sign of physical exercises is a more muscular physique.Whether male or female, exercises help trim belly fat, tone the muscles and increase muscle size. These provide a healthy dose of self-confidence. The best part of this is that no one can contend against it, neither do you need to shout about itâ€"it is open for all to see.There is nothing as good as seeing yourself in the nice shape you always wanted to have or the muscles you always dreamed of.Improved overall healthGenerally, exercises are encouraged because they give you better health. Better health improves self-confidence in various ways.For example, you feel more confident when you know that the rainy season does not cause you to suffer colds and flu, rendering you inactive throughout the season.Staying healthy also gives you the assurance that you will live longer, stay stronger and therefore, have more time to enjoy the success you have built.6. Exercise Your TalentsYour talents are the ones which give you your strengths. If for example among your strengths is a good voice, then you could be talented in singing; if one of your strengths is drawing well, then you could be an artist. You can exercise your talents in the following ways.Go commercialCommercializing your talents is a great way to build your self-confidence.Using your talents ensures that the struggles are less than for others because you are doing what you are good at. Earning some money in the process not only serves as a reward but a confirmation that what you have is valuable and there are people willing to pay to experience it.When going commercial, improving your talents becomes important otherwise the competition will be a serious challenge for you.Do voluntary workVoluntary work gives you great satisfaction since you see your talents improving the lives of others. You will be pleased with yourself when you put a smile o n someone’s face.Voluntary work also comes with a lot of appreciation.7. Face Your FearsThe fears you have are responsible for your low self-confidence. When a situation comes up and you are required to do something you have not done before, just check inside you for signs that you can take the challenge. If you have been doing the above 6 things regularly, you will by now have believed in yourself enough to want to take challenges. Facing your fears means:You will become unstoppableOnce you overcome one fear, you become courageous to fight some more. With more conquering, you become quite impervious to defeat.Just as habits form after practice, the winning attitude which you have been practicing now becomes a natural part of you. At this point, you have built your self-confidence to the point that nothing can stand in your way.You will become more attractiveThis is because you have achieved what many have not.People also tend to be attracted to those who are successful. Your succ ess now becomes a source of inspiration to others.Many will seek advice from you on how they can fulfill their dreams. As you become better, ensure you give a lot of counsel as that helps you get the fulfillment of using your achievements to benefit others.You will receive recognitions and promotionsLooking around you, you have definitely realized that the people who get recognized and promoted are those most talented or productive.Well, congratulations! Your latest victories have just ushered you into this category of people. Promotions here do not only refer to higher office positions but also to appointments to take leadership roles in the society.Anywhere people need change and success, they will always look to those who have success defining their lives. With your name suggested, either by yourself or others (you can also seek promotions), you are setting the stage for more successes.CONCLUSIONSelf-confidence is all about what you believe regarding yourself. Stop having negativ e thoughts and beliefs about yourself and start focusing on what you are good at.When you do this, you will start noticing some other positive qualities you have though never detected before.As a summary, here are the things you need to do every day to build your self-confidence. They are in a list form so you can easily remember them.Be yourselfHave a winning attitudeDon’t compare yourself to anyoneAssociate with people who build you upExercise your bodyExercise your talentsFace your fears

Human Selfishness and Ignorance Portrayed in Gabriel...

In the story Chronicle of a Death Foretold, Gabriel Garcia Marquez portrays how the bystander effect impacts the people around Santiago Nasar to act submissively revealing how people do not want to help others in difficult situations, unless it directly affects them. Marquez informs readers how individuals only see the different ways for personal gain, thereby not having â€Å"time† to help others in need. As Santiago Nasar nears his death, many of those who are informed of it do nothing to save his life, as they all rely on others to help rather than taking matters into their own hands and stepping up. Ignorance by specific townspeople, like Angela Vicario, Lazaro Aponte, Clotilde Armenta, and even a friend, Cristo Bedoya. Each person’s†¦show more content†¦The fact that she gave a death sentence to an innocent man proves just how selfish people are in the world. People do anything to get by in the world without ever causing shame to them. Though in Angelaâ₠¬â„¢s case, the shame was already brought when she let the man who truly took her virginity sway her into bed. The readers can safely assume that she was not raped or pressured into having sex, because she would not have any reason in trying to protect the man who ruined her innocence’s image. Angela herself decided that in saying the name of a random man would result better for her than in telling the truth. Even after 23 years, Angela Vicario â€Å"was protecting someone who really loved her and she had chosen Santiago Nasar’s name because she thought her brothers would never dare go up against him† (90). Though she thought her brothers would not do anything drastic for their family name, like killing Nasar, she easily saw where it was all leading to, yet she claimed unawareness to the future fate of an innocent man. Taking initiative requires more than just one attempt to help out a friend in need. Being the head of the police in town, Colonel Lazaro Aponte did not do as much as he could have in helping try to save Nasar’s life. Aponte first hears of the Vicario brothers’ plot to kill Santiago Nasar early morning from one his officers. Aponte did not take this threat seriously as he was tired of settling so many fights between friends before. After finishing

The American Of American National History Essay - 2102 Words

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Developing Positive Assertiveness Free Essays

string(49) " becomes natural and integrated into daily life\." Summary Developing assertiveness is more than just learning to speak differently. Being assertive requires thinking assertively, behaving positively and feeling self-confident. We must all make a conscious effort to be consistently assertive. We will write a custom essay sample on Developing Positive Assertiveness or any similar topic only for you Order Now As we learn to become more assertive we reduce our stress, failures, dissatisfactions and conflicts. Developing assertiveness requires effort but the rewards are worth it. Successful behavior change requires thinking and doing. Behavior change is possible once you understand that it is an evolving, ongoing process that can be accomplished by moving through various stages. This essay discusses and describes the different behavioral types along with recipes to lead to successful behavioral change. It examines the effects of positive mental imagery and the self-fulfilling prophecy towards programming yourself towards success. It explores the four steps for powerful assertiveness along with how to deal and prepare for confrontation. Assertiveness is the antidote to fear, shyness, passivity, and even anger, so there is an astonishingly wide range of situations in which this training is appropriate. The case study demonstrates how after assertiveness training employees feel empowered with tools and skills to handle any communication situation. All of us should insist on being treated fairly — to stand up for our rights without violating the rights of others. This means tactfully, justly and effectively expressing our preferences, needs, opinions and feelings. We do this through the development of positive assertiveness. Introduction When we hear the word assertive most people think of someone standing their ground refusing to give an inch and pushing to have their own way. Others think of someone who is stubborn on certain issues but overall a nice individual. Others do not know what assertive behavior really is. Assertive behavior is a natural style while being honest, direct and respectful while interacting with others. Why is there a need for assertiveness training books and courses? They are essential as most people do not understand the importance of using assertive behavior. As more and more people develop assertiveness and start to influence others, the awareness and acceptance of this behavior type will increase. Everyone should aspire to be assertive – it is a desirable behavior, it is vital for honest, healthy relationships. It is the behavior necessary for positive outcomes in negotiation, normal business dealings, conflict resolution and also in family life. †The assertive individual is a tower of strength with high self-esteem with clear self-knowledge and able to accept their own shortcomings as well as their strengths. † Figure 1: The Assertiveness Triangle. The Three Main Behavioral Types No one is consistently assertive, we all follow these three basic behavioral types depending on the situation: Passive – this behavior is passive and indirect. It conveys a message of inferiority. By being nonassertive, we allow the needs, wants and rights of others to be more important than our own. It creates a behavior of â€Å"win-lose† situations. A nonassertive person loses or is disregarded while allowing others to win. This leads to being a victim not a winner. Aggressive – this behavior is complex, it can be either passive or active. Aggression can be direct or non-direct, honest or dishonest. It communicates an impression of disrespect and superiority. Assertive – this is when a person stands up for their legitimate rights in such a way that the rights of others are not violated. It communicates respect for others behavior. It is an honest, direct and appropriate expression of one’s beliefs, feelings and opinions. Figure 2: Assertiveness, graph mode. Figure 3: The different behavioral types. Figure 4: Examples of the different types of behavior. Successful Change of Behavior Successful behavior change requires thinking and doing. Behavior change is possible once you understand that it is an evolving, ongoing process that can be accomplished by moving through various stages. Real change comes only after persistent action. The more frequently people perform a behavior, the more habitual and automatic it becomes, requiring little effort or conscious attention. Figure 5: Motivation and ability graph. Figure 6: Target behavior graph showing effects of core motivators. Positive Mental Imagery When developing positive assertiveness you will begin to start practicing new ways of expressing yourself and handling yourself. It is a good idea to also practice the technique of positive mental imagery. This is using your imagination to visualize yourself saying and doing things successfully and assertively. Envision situations in which you see yourself being assertive, feel confident, powerful and effective. Only imagine positive outcomes. Think of positive mental imagery as being proactive in the journey of developing positive assertiveness. Four P’s of Successful Change Any type of change whether big or small can be challenging. For many, large scale change only occurs when after a traumatic experience. However, one does not need a traumatic upset to prompt change. To make a successful change, you do need to be prepared. There are 4 rules which help to retain these changes. 1. Protection – Change is often very scary. One of the reasons we do not change is because of fear. Our fear can be vague but enough to sabotage successful change. Having protection can help to stick with a commitment to change. It may be best to start your successful assertiveness in an environment which feels very safe. Change one thing at a time – slow and steady wins the race. 2. Potency – Change is an active process not a passive process. It is necessary to put in some mental effort, emotional involvement and physical activity. To tap into your potency: define your goal in simple, active, positive words. Write down your change goal and display it where you can see it every day. Imagine practicing your goal of positive assertiveness and visualize yourself doing this with ease. . Permission – Each of us requires permission of change ourselves. Be sure to give yourself permission to change. 4. Practice – To become skillful with any behavior requires practice. A large amount of practice may be needed before your new behavior becomes natural and integrated into daily life. You read "Developing Positive Assertiveness" in category "Papers" Develop a practice schedule, be specific ab out how often, when and where. Record your efforts and successes. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy The self-fulfilling prophecy is a statement that alters actions and therefore comes true. For example, a person stating â€Å"I’m probably going to have a lousy day,† might alter his actions so that such a prediction is fulfilled by his actions. This may be an unconscious gesture. A person who embraces the self-fulfilling prophecy in a positive way â€Å"I’m going to have a great day† might act in ways that will actually make this prediction true. Programming Yourself for Success If you want to program yourself for success you will need to understand that if you only put rubbish into your head, you will only ever get trashy results in your life! The human minds works just like a computer- when it comes to basic programming the same basic rules apply: if only negative stuff goes in then only negativity will come out. If you want to program yourself for success then you need to lock your mind against every single thought that is not coloured with success and covered with positivity. Many people struggle with reprogramming themselves for success because although they practice positive thinking, they visualize and say their affirmations, negativity is still the predominant factor in their lives. It is not the affirmations and the visualizations that are getting in the way, but rather the thoughts and the feelings that are active the rest of the time! The only way you are going to program yourself for success is to go on the offensive, and to make a conscious effort to not only have a constant intake of positive, success-filled thoughts and feelings, but to also avoid any thoughts and feelings that cancel out your success-driven mentality. The Four Steps for Powerful Assertiveness There are four basic steps that can help you to become more assertive in everyday dealings with others. Step 1: Repeat the Question or Statement To add power to your assertiveness the first thing to do is to repeat the question. Ensure that you have good eye contact and speak with confident, assertive voice tones. It may be necessary to emphasize certain words the second time to increase the chances of getting your point across. Step 2: Command, don’t ask If the person continues to refuse to co-operate, switch from asking to commanding. Being directive tends to sound more powerful than a request to most. Learn to use the request for the majority of people, the average person will hear your request as polite and appropriate, there is less risk of sounding pushy. If the request does not produce results then change the request to a command. Step 3: Add Some Emotion If your efforts are still unsuccessful you can add emotion as another way to add power to your assertiveness. People are unaccustomed to open emotions and honesty and by using these you can add significant power to your communication. Step 4: Introduce Consequences By introducing consequences it is a final way to add power to your assertiveness. They are not threats, they are simply statements of what your intentions are if you do not get co-operation. Consequences need to be stated in advance to give the other person a chance to change their behavior. Consequences need to be strong and believable, the action needs to be something undesirable. You must be willing to follow through on the consequence if necessary. If you are tested by the other person and you do not take the action you said you would, you will lose all credibility and power not just with that person but perhaps also with others. Case Study Assertiveness training helps administrative assistants forge positive relationships with internal and external customers. Situation: A college recognised that its administrative assistants work with a range of internal and external customers and assertiveness training with this these employees could have a positive impact throughout the organisation. This group also tends to be passive. Challenge: The administrative assistants report to multiple faculty members, and they felt powerless to effectively juggle the assignments of multiple bosses. As the university’s face to the customer (students), polished communication skills would enable them to more effectively communicate with these customers. Solution: The college hired Mary to present a communication workshop for this group. Mary customised training focused on assertive communication skills and how to work with difficult people. Also, the group participated in a personality assessment to gain insight into their individual communication style and, with role playing, learned how to communicate with people who have different communication styles. Results: The college invites Mary to conduct a communication workshop for this group every year, focusing on various communication aspects. Participants rave that the workshops are interactive and relevant to their job. They feel empowered with tools and skills to handle any communication situation. Dealing with Confrontations Many people cannot handle confrontation and start to shake, they lose control of their voice pitch and cannot control their thoughts. It is frustrating when someone is putting you down and you cannot argue back as you have a touch of confrontation jitters. It is the ‘Flight or Fight’ syndrome kicking in as it pumps adrenaline through your body in readiness of getting your body prepared to either ‘Flight’ or ‘Fight’. Some tips to deal with confrontation: * Take a deep breath, this lowers your heartbeat and blood pressure. * If you can, take five minutes to rehearse what you will say. Make key points for your argument. * Realise what triggers your anger and prepare a response to that trigger. By doing this you are aware of what buttons others can push to provoke a certain response. When you know your own triggers it is less likely that someone can push these buttons as you are prepared. * Make the other person aware of how confrontational they are being such as ‘why are you being so confrontational? ’ this turns the energy back on them and lets them reflect on themselves. This may calm them down as most people get lost in the moment and do not realise they are being aggressive. * Don’t get sucked into other people’s arguments where the purpose is to manipulate you into loosing and thereby showing the other person that they are superior. If you don’t get sucked in there is no argument to win and you will come out looking the better person. Figure 7: Conflict Management Model. Conclusion This essay has examined the positive effects that assertiveness can have on your social and business interactions. It is an ongoing development process where you need to be actively involved in modifying your behavior patterns. Assertiveness includes the right to choose not to assert yourself. There is no rule saying that you have to assert yourself all the time and in some situations you may feel it is better not to say anything. Generally, though, you are likely to find that being more assertive has a significant positive impact on your life. Because some people want to be â€Å"nice† and â€Å"not cause trouble,† they â€Å"suffer in silence,† and assume nothing can be done to change their situation. We appreciate pleasant, accommodating people but whenever a nice person allows a greedy, dominant person to take advantage of them, the passive person is not only cheating themselves but also reinforcing unfair, self-centered behavior in the aggressive person. True assertiveness means without aggression, guilt or fear. It is far more effective in the long run and infinitely more satisfying. Winning others to your way of thinking, the legitimate way, is much more fun. By choosing to be assertive and by following the steps outlined in this essay, you will know that you have the power over any situation, over your own feelings and stress levels. Recommendations Being assertive is being able to express yourself with confidence, without resorting to passiveness, aggressiveness or manipulative. By developing assertiveness and being aware of your strengths and weaknesses you can learn how to modify your behavior in both social and work interactions, therefore enhancing your career prospects and improving your social life. Practice your skills on someone you are unlikely to meet again. If you fail, realise where you have gone wrong and try again. Attending workshops and seminars can be extremely valuable especially when given the opportunity to use role-play to uncover your response in various interpersonal situations. Assertiveness is closely linked to self-esteem and body language so it is important to build on these ideas too. The Irish Training and Educational Centre (ITEC) run an ‘Assertiveness at Work’ distance learning course online for a fee of â‚ ¬330 covering 6 modules. This course can be signed up for online (https://www. irishtraining. ie/business/assertiveness_work. html) or by phoning ITEC on 01-2897579 Appendices Figure 1: The Assertiveness Triangle Figure 2: Assertiveness, graph mode. Figure 3: The different behavioral types. Figure 4: Examples of the different types of behavior. Figure 5: Motivation and ability graph. Figure 6: Target behavior graph showing effects of core motivators. Figure 7: Conflict Management Model. Bibliography Johnson J, â€Å"Developing Assertiveness†, First Edition, James Madison University, MA USA, 2004 Lloyd S, â€Å"Positive Assertiveness†, Third Edition, Thomson Learning, Boston MA USA, 2002 Mullen P, â€Å"Management/Supervisory Skills†, Logicert, Cork 2003 References https://www. irishtraining. ie/business/assertiveness_work. html https://www. ciltuk. corg. com/theknowledgecentre http://www. wisegeek. com/what-is-a-self-fulfilling-prophecy. htm Aitchison, S. , â€Å"7 Tips For Dealing With Confrontation† http://www. stevenaitchison. o. uk/blog/7-tips-for-dealing-with-confrontation, June 6, 2011 http://www. sandiego. edu/slic/images/3%20types%20interpersonal. pdf http://www. donnaschilder. com/Inspirational-Articles/Relationships/7-Steps-to-Positive-Assertiveness. shtml http://psychcentral. com/blog/archives/2010/02/25/building-assertiveness-in-4-s teps/ http://s-wagner. tamu. edu/classes/KINE%20214/teachi ngstrategies. pdf http://my. safaribooksonline. com/book/personal-development/1560526009/ensuring-successful-change/14#X2ludGVybmFsX0ZsYXNoUmVhZGVyP3htbGlkPTEtNTYwNTItNjAwLTkvMTQ= http://www. odayisthatday. com/how-to-program-yourself-for-success-by-locking-down-your-mental-hard-drive/ http://www. deseretnews. com/article/705323554/Successful-behavior-change-requires-thinking-and-doing. html http://www. improvementtower. com/Assertiveness_in_Work_Place. html HTTP://CALLTHESHRINK. BLOGSPOT. COM/2009/04/ASSERTIVENESS-TRAINING. HTML http://www. strategicinsight. biz/index. php? option=com_content;view=article;id=56;Itemid=60 ——————————————– [ 1 ]. Mullen, Pat â€Å"Module 4, Management/Supervisory Skills† (2003) Pg. 60 How to cite Developing Positive Assertiveness, Papers

Comparing The Deserter by Winifred M Letts and The Hero by Siegfried Sassoon Essay Example

Comparing The Deserter by Winifred M Letts and The Hero by Siegfried Sassoon Paper Both poems are during the period of war. Each of these two poems is talking about a certain person during the war time, whether he was seen as great man or an ignorant abandoner, both poems relate to a significant person. From the beginning of the story, we can already separate which one is seen as a hero and who is seen as unforgiving. The two poems begin with a completely different tones; one is delightful, but The Deserter starts already in the first verse with an unnamed man and the reader already sees him as worthless and unimportant. In The Deserter there is a clear sign of repetition in the verses 4 to 5, so as to emphasis the faults that this nameless man committed and show his mistakes in a deeper aspect. During the entire poem, the man is described as a frightened child and is seen as a hare, which is the animal at the bottom of a food chain, nonetheless worthless and unimportant. The colours described in this poem are dark, signs of death and abandon, of fear and darkness, where grey is the most dominant. Yet again, in verses 24 to 25, a repetition of an English bullet in his heart shows that the author is feeling a sense of betrayal by this lost man and how he must have left his troops and men behind, dependent on him all along. Betrayal during war times war unacceptable, yet quite frequent. This poem enables us to see that even though this happened rather often, deserting the field was seen as offensive act. In Verse 16, the author mentions the fear of death that many soldiers had at the time; it seems that it is something which is dishonourable even though it is only natural for a man to fear death and what is beyond. We will write a custom essay sample on Comparing The Deserter by Winifred M Letts and The Hero by Siegfried Sassoon specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Comparing The Deserter by Winifred M Letts and The Hero by Siegfried Sassoon specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Comparing The Deserter by Winifred M Letts and The Hero by Siegfried Sassoon specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer In this poem, it seems that whatever the deserter does, even if it is a simple action; the author will view it as wrong and judge him furthermore for his previous actions. When the author describes the mothers reactions to his death, it is seen as ironic and a rather dark humour against the young fellow yet again. It seems that even his own mother would be distraught if she knew the about his sons death. It feels unfair for the reader to see this but the poem ends on a rather unsatisfying note. The author places the deserter into a deserters grave, a place where only the worthless people settle and is not worth any visiting. The Hero is a poem that is different to The Deserter in many ways. Even if in the two poems, the authors are describing soldiers from the war, their faiths are completely different and the authors attitude towards them also is. From the beginning the author sees the death of this young man a tragedy rather than deliverance and he does not criticise his actions rather than his personality. The poem immediately starts with the mothers reaction to the young mans death, whereas The Deserter ended on that point. When the mother says that she is so proud of how her son dies, it shows how moved she is by his death and how even though she is full of sadness, she cannot help but to be proud. But as the poem continues the tone slowly becomes more pessimistic and ironic than at the start. The writer describes how the officer lied about the entire ordeal and mimics the mothers sadness. The writer has had a drastic change of view from the beginning and now the dead soldier is no longer seen as glorious but rather pathetic, and the mother is seen as rather modest. This poem also ends on a slightly awkward note, explaining that no one cared about the way this young man perished except that lonely woman with white hair, showing somehow that she is the only woman that ever cared for her son. In both poems, the mothers are the ones that play the role of the appearing parent, this is most probably because mothers are seen as more sensitive and they are more patient towards the wait for their sons news. Both stories end, with the mother proud, even though neither of the parents truly knows what happened to their sons. The two poems are quite ironic in a way and set an uncomfortable ending, something which keeps the readers on edge. Both poems successfully show us the difficulties of the war, and for many soldiers, it was terribly hard to deal with and many suffered and simply wished to travel back home or disappear from the battle field.

Formal Diary Entry Essay Example

Formal Diary Entry Essay Example Formal Diary Entry Paper Formal Diary Entry Paper Dear diary, I was reading one of the latest teenage magazines today. I find them rather interesting and informative because they are full of very compelling articles about role models in sport and culture. In this generation. There was a very amusing article on a singer called Mile Cyrus. She is an interesting character. It is amazing to watch what happens to young celebrities, as they get older. Often, after many years in the spotlight, some celebrities appear to develop a very undesirable image. Mile was always a very good role model towards young people but now she shaves her head ND has a few too many tattoos. : There was also a very enlightening article on Ian Thorpe. Ian Thorpe is a fantastic swimmer and I admire him greatly. I was amazed to read that he is 192 centimeters tall with an incredible arm span. No wonder he was such a good swimmer! He used to have depression when he was younger man. Its quite astonishing to see that he broke 22 world records during his very successful career while battling depression. Ian has been treated for depression since he was a teenager. He was quite embarrassed about his condition so he kept it a secret, even from his parents. He also had a very minor alcohol problem. Before his first race at the Athens Olympic Games in 2004, he was very unhappy and drank a lot of alcohol to make himself feel better. He has also suffered from suicidal thoughts and didnt believe that he could ever recover. It wasnt until several years after his retirement that his mental health improved. Over the years, Ian Thorpe has been a very successful swimmer. He won multiple Olympic medals and won many awards such as the 2002 World Swimmer of the Year. When he was only fourteen years old, he was selected to represent Australia in he 400-meter freestyle. This made him the youngest male to ever represent Australia! He is traveled around the world during his career and has been to many places such as London, Tokyo, Paris and New York! A high profile coach quoted that he was the greatest swimmer the world has ever seen. He is also sponsored by Aids, Santa, Tellers and Seven Network. It was would be quite breathtaking to see your face on billboards and front covers of magazines all over the world. In 2007, he qualified for the World Championships selection trials, but unfortunately e had to withdraw from the competition because he had bronchitis. He then had glandular fever and afterwards he broke his wrist, which was unfortunate because he was hoping to return to the Commonwealth Games after his retirement. No wonder he was finding life so difficult. During all this, he then had to put up with the media asking questions about his sexuality and whether he was homosexual or not. I find it incredible that people can be so intrusive when it comes to celebritys private lives. That someday I will be as good as him. Until tomorrow diary, Maggie

Chinese Gift-Giving Etiquette

Chinese Gift-Giving Etiquette Not only is the choice of gift important in Chinese culture, but how much you spend on it, how you wrap it, and how you present it are equally important. When Should I Give a Gift? In Chinese societies, gifts are given for holidays, such as birthdays, during official business meetings, and at special events like dinner at a friend’s home. While red envelopes are the more popular choice for Chinese New Year and weddings, gifts are also acceptable. How Much Should I Spend on a Gift? The value of the gift depends on the occasion and your relationship to the recipient. In business settings where more than one person will receive a gift, the most senior person should receive the most expensive gift. Never give the same gift to people of different ranks in the company. While there are times when an expensive gift is necessary, over the top and lavish gifts may not be well received for several reasons. First, the person may be embarrassed because he or she can not reciprocate with a gift of similar value or, during business deals, especially with politicians, it may appear to be a bribe. When giving a red envelope, the amount of money inside will depend on the situation. There is great debate over how much to give: The amount of money in red envelopes given to children for Chinese New Year depends on age and the giver’s relationship to the child. For younger children, the equivalent of about $7 dollars is fine. More money is given to older children and teenagers. The amount is usually enough for the child to buy himself a gift, such as a T-shirt or DVD. Parents may give the child a more substantial amount since material gifts are usually not given during the holidays. For employees at work, the year-end bonus is typically the equivalent of one month’s wage though the amount can vary from enough money to buy a small gift to more than one month’s wage. If you go to a wedding, the money in the red envelope should be equivalent to a nice gift that would be given at a Western wedding. It should be enough money to cover the guest’s expense at the wedding. For example, if the wedding dinner costs the newlyweds US$35 per person, then the money in the envelope should be at least US$35. In Taiwan, typical amounts on money are: NT$1,200, NT$1,600, NT$2,200, NT$2,600, NT$3,200 and NT$3,600. As with Chinese New Year, the amount of money is relative to your relationship to the recipient the closer your relationship to the bride and groom, the more money that is expected. Immediate family like parents and siblings give more money than casual friends. It is not uncommon for business partners to be invited to weddings. Business partners often put more money in the envelope to strengthen the business relationship. Less money is given for birthdays than is given for Chinese New Year and weddings because it is viewed as the least important of the three occasions. Nowadays, people often just bring gifts for birthdays. For all occasions, certain amounts of money are to be avoided. Anything with a four is best avoided because å›› (sà ¬, four) sounds similar to æ ­ » (sÇ , death). Even numbers, except four, are better than odd. Eight is a particularly auspicious number. The money inside a red envelope should always be new and crisp. Folding the money or giving dirty or wrinkled bills is in bad taste. Coins and checks are avoided, the former because change is not worth much and the latter because checks are not widely used in Asia. How Should I Wrap the Gift? Chinese gifts can be wrapped with wrapping paper and bows, just like gifts in the West. However, some colors should be avoided. Red is lucky. Pink and yellow symbolize happiness. Gold is for fortune and wealth. So wrapping paper, ribbon, and bows in these colors are best. Avoid white, which is used in funerals and connotes death. Black and blue also symbolize death and should not be used. If you include a greeting card or gift tag, do not write in red ink as this signifies death. Never write a Chinese person’s name in red ink as this is considered bad luck. If you are giving a red envelope, there are a few points to remember. Unlike a Western greeting card, red envelopes given at Chinese New Year are typically left unsigned. For birthdays or weddings, a short message, typically a four character expression, and signature is optional. Some four-character expressions appropriate for a wedding red envelope are Ã¥ ¤ ©Ã¤ ½Å"ä ¹â€¹Ã¥ Ë† (tiÄ nzuà ² zhÄ «hà ©, marriage made in heaven) or ç™ ¾Ã¥ ¹ ´Ã¥ ¥ ½Ã¥ Ë† (bÇŽinin hÇŽo hà ©, happy union for one hundred years). The money inside a red envelope should always be new and crisp. Folding the money or giving dirty or wrinkled bills is in bad taste. Coins and checks are avoided, the former because change is not worth much and the latter because checks are not widely used in Asia. How Should I Present the Gift? It is best to exchange gifts in private or to an entire group. At business meetings, it is bad taste to offer only one  person a gift in front of everyone else. If you have only prepared one gift, you should give it to the most senior person. If you are concerned about whether giving a gift is appropriate, it is okay to say the gift is from your company rather than you. Always give gifts to the most senior person first. Don’t be surprised if your gift is immediately reciprocated with a gift of equal value as this is the way Chinese people say thank you. If you are given a gift, you should also repay the gift with something of equal value. When giving the gift, the recipient may not immediately open it because it might embarrass them, or they may appear greedy. If you receive a gift, you should not immediately open it. may appear greedy. If you receive a gift, you should not immediately open it. Most recipients will first politely decline the gift. If he or she profusely refuses the gift more than once, take the hint and don’t push the issue. When giving a gift, hand the gift to the person with both hands. The gift is considered an extension of the person and handing it over with both hands is a sign of respect. When receiving a gift, also accept it with both hands and say thank you. Post-gift giving, it is customary to send an e-mail or better, a thank you card, to show your gratitude for the gift. A phone call is also acceptable.